At 18, I was happy to be single because I got to check out all the hot college guys. At 21, I was okay with being single because of the drinks guys at the bar were gonna buy me. At 25, when weddings and engagements are happening every other month, you start to wonder if it’s you. At 27, you get a second wind and feel like you still have plenty of time for love. At 29, for the first time on a date you tell your age and he says “Oh. Well, you look young.” You feel your market value go down a bit and you start wondering if you should lie about your age but then realize any guy worth your time wouldn’t care.
In my early 20’s, I was getting asked out pretty often by all types of guys. In my late 20’s I still get asked out, but not nearly as often and it feels like the choices have definitely become more narrow. Even worse, I’ll meet an attractive man in line at the grocery store and we’ll be having a good conversation. Then he’ll say, “Yeah, my wife likes that too” and it’s basically conversation over. *sigh* You can tell he’s a good man too because when he felt you were connecting he found a way to let you know he had a wife, because he’s thinking about her, like he should be. So you smile and say something nice about his wife and that’s pretty much it. You hope he has a single brother but don’t have the guts to ask.
The pressure is on now. I have one more year before I’m no longer in my 20’s. My friends and family always ask me if I’m dating someone and the answer is pretty much always the same. I can lie but then they want to meet him and then I have to keep lying and it turns into one of those bad movies. I count the good years I have left to have kids and debate if I’d honestly be okay with adoption. The other alternatives for having children cross my mind but I can’t bring myself to fully consider them because I just want to get married and have a family the natural way and always have. Plus, I have to do it in the next few years if I want have more than one child.
Whoa, something isn’t right… With that kind of thinking I’m going to end up marrying the next guy I date, whether I like him or not, out of fear. With that kind of thinking I’ll end up calling my ex, who I know isn’t good for me, because I don’t want to miss out on having a family.
Honestly, the chances of me meeting someone and getting married are extremely high. I live in a big city, I got out pretty often, I work with the public, and I’m on a couple online dating sites. I put in effort on a regular basis. Sure, I could put in more effort but part of me is also wondering if the whole you find love when your not looking thing is true so I’m trying to find a balance.
Do I feel pressure from myself to get married? Not really…. I mean, I wish I was already married and just was done with it, but then again…. I do cherish my alone time. I love having the whole bed to myself. It’s actually really nice only having to worry about myself. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes but I can always go out and spend time with friends or make new ones.
I want to be with someone I who really love; I don’t want to just be with anyone just to have someone. I want to be with the person who makes me feel like I’m amazing and who I think is awesome. Someone who I can truly say that I love them and actually enjoy being around them. I know it will happen. Of course I hope it happens soon and who knows, I could meet the love of my life tomorrow, you never know. So could you.
Are you still single? Do you think you’ll find love?